Friday, August 8, 2008

What have you done lately?

Over the past few weeks my blog entries have been more focused on training and training concepts, you know – the geeky stuff.

Let’s just say…I have had a LOT of complaints :)

Against the advice of my client, friend and cardiologist, Dr. Lyndon Box, I have consumed this morning…3 SIGNIFICANT servings of the sweet nectar that the Starbucks gods have bestowed upon us.

Known to us mere mortals as a Tall Pike’s Place Roast Red Eye with Cream and 2 Splenda, I have allowed the caffeine coursing through my veins to unravel the twisted wandering thoughts that are best sequestered or expressed only underwater at VERY DEEP end of the 50M pool.

“HUH, what did you say Willis? You were talking to me in the pool this morning? Was that on the 100’s or during the cool down? You’re so fired, What’d I miss?”

So, having succumbed to the peer pressure and through the benevolence of the barista…

I bring to you an over caffinated rambling with ABSOLUTELY NO POINT…

but also…no geekiness involved :)

People are crazy – everyone is crazy.

Scratch the surface and you’ll find it.

Some of us wear this more on the inside while others don the overcoat with reckless abandon that is the emperor’s new clothes.

In the drive thru line at a Carl’s Jr’s in Newport Beach, CA, 12-13 years ago I sat and watched a homeless ballerina dance pirouettes in the street. She was actually quite graceful. I sat there eating my lunch, DEFINITELY something that was not good for me, watching her solo performance of Alvin Ailey Dance Theater. She never noticed me… but I did applaud.

Cut to the guy in the cube toiling away for hours on mindless spreadsheet calculations that in the end of the day, week, month, year of his life only result in totality of his work being shredded by an overbearing manager focused on TPS coversheets.

Who is crazy – which one?

I offer this...

Both…They…We…You…Me…All of us are…

It is just to what level we employ our coping skills…daily.

If you have made it this far you are probably asking yourself, where is any of this going?

The answer…Angelina Jolie’s butt…that’s where.


3 hours on the trainer.

Yup – that’s right.

3 solid hours straight. One BIG puddle!!!

Is that crazy? Hell yeah that is crazy. Even by IM standards that is crazy.

What is more crazy?

It was nice outside.

Seriously, I took a ½ day off from work to do this and what’s worse…I actually enjoyed it.

OH YEAH – that is crazy.

Anyone who has ridden a trainer knows that it boring. It is painful. It is like the triathlon equivalent of the priest from the DaVinci Code that beats himself and that is for only a “normal” workout of 1 hour.


3 hours…we are talking Silence of the Lambs Crazy…


“It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.”

3 hours allows you to find (Billy’s quote which I love) “the deep dark corners of your mind where it’s a little scary”.

So what makes a ride like this even bearable – back to the point - Angelina Jolie’s Butt :)

In the movie Wanted, there is a fantastic scene where she gets out of the “recovery” tubs – yes I am tempted to make a geeky point but I am resisting, and walks away slowly putting on a towel as she looks back over her shoulder at Wesley.

It is…if I was allowed ONLY a single vote…the best butt – period!!!

Actually, the movie is/was fantastic.


Mindless violence with deep concepts and Morgan Freeman – anything he does is great.

This doesn’t spoil anything of the film…the ending dialogue is the best…

Wesley: “This *is* me taking control; from Sloan, from the fraternity, from Janice, billing reports, ergonomic keyboards, from cheating girlfriends and sack of sh!t best friends. This is me taking back control of my life. What the F have you done lately?”

One reviewer said it will have you leaving the theatre pumping your fist…

If I were reviewing it, I would say it will have you content on the trainer for 60 minutes at over 240 watts :)

So what does 3 hours on the “rack” get you…what does it offer me?


My inner ballerina is a little more tired than usual and chooses not to dance…my TPS obsessed coworker a little less bothersome…and my Fava beans with Chianti are much more flavorful :)

The more balanced I am…the more I tend to see the craziness that is around me…

The woman that allows me to hold the door for her walking in to the Starbucks and doesn’t say thank you or even consider that I would have been in front of her in line as she orders a Grande non-fat Chai Latte with not too much foam in a Venti cup extra hot and offers up a coupon and fat fingers the .07 change back into her fake Gucci purse.


The contractor discussing at full volume on his cell phone his dissatisfaction with the current bid while the check out clerk at Publix tries to tell him he needs to hit OK on the CC machine as the line grows longer by the minute.


The man next to me at the Fresh Market who is completely obsessed that I am taking TOO long to sample their free coffee and decides that if he stands closer to me that I will move faster.

(This actually pi$$ed me off enough to be completely childish and stand there for an extra 30 seconds slowly stirring my free Dixie cup of Kona Brew :) - I took great pride in my 4 year old passive aggressive behavior – this is ABSOLUTELY true and my mellow was significantly enhanced through his frustration :))

So, amidst the haze and single minded preoccupation that follows an IM athlete in the middle of their training, there are the chance random encounters with the crazier outside world.

And while we may appear ourselves to be crazy…we are…as Ben Harper so eloquently put it, “painfully sane”.


The pain that we endure in training makes us more sane and more balanced.

Soooo….here’s to 250 mile weeks, to 50 miles of running, to 12K in the pool, to the left side of the menu, to 10,000 headless monkees dancing, to Angelina Jolie’s Butt and the balance that all of this achieves.

My caffeine buzz is wearing off…lunch is over…time to go back to my TPS reports and daydreaming about Angelina...


What have you done lately? :)


Anonymous said...

leave it to me to bust you balloon-chances are its a butt double.....

Anonymous said...

leave it to me to bust your balloon-chances are its a butt double.....